Right from the start, love was supposed to be easy. You meet someone, your heart flutters, and suddenly everything just makes sense. At least, that is what the movies portrayed and promised us. That is what love songs made us feel. However, for many people today, love does not always arrive wrapped in ease or certainty, especially for those who have been through certain things.

Sometimes, love shows up when you are not ready. Most times, you have to let it go. This is for those who have met good partners, kind, intentional, emotionally available people but still walked away. Not because you did not care, but because something deep inside whispered, “You are not ready.”

It is one thing to want love. It is another thing entirely to receive it, to truly open your heart and let someone see all of you: the joy and the jagged pieces. To believe that someone else can hold space for your softness, your confusion, your dreams and still stay. For many of us, love is not just a desire; it is a battle. A delicate dance between longing and resistance. We scroll past engagement photos, attend weddings, repost relationship quotes but deep down, there is a quiet wondering: “Will I ever be ready for this? Will I ever stop running?”

In this part of the world, where marriage is often seen as a milestone of maturity and success, the pressure is real. You reach a certain age or graduate, and suddenly everyone is asking, “When are you bringing someone home?” What if you are still figuring yourself out? What if you’re still healing from wounds no one can see? What if, beneath the smile and achievements, you are scared to let anyone in?

Society rarely makes space for emotional readiness, especially for women. You are expected to settle down, to compromise, to build something even if your heart still holds cracks that cannot yet be mended. So when you say, “I am not ready,” it often sounds like an excuse and only you know what it means to protect your peace.

Maybe you have met someone amazing, someone patient and genuine, who did everything right. Still, you found yourself retreating, overthinking, or panicking. You wanted to let love in, but your body and heart told a different story. The truth is, unhealed wounds have a way of repelling the very thing we crave. It is not about being dramatic or hard to please, it is about survival, about not wanting to repeat a painful cycle. So you walk away and yes, it hurts.

You miss them. You remember their kindness. You wonder what could have been but you also know, deep down, that staying might have meant breaking them or even breaking yourself. There is a myth that readiness for love happens suddenly, like a light switch. However, in reality, readiness is a process. It is a quiet unfolding, a learning to sit with your fears without letting them drive your decisions.

Maybe you are not ready right now. Maybe you are still learning how to self-soothe, still discovering what you want, or still healing from the past. That does not make you unlovable. It makes you honest. You do not have to rush into a relationship just because everyone else seems happy. You do not have to say yes just because the person looks perfect on paper. You are allowed to honour your pace. Readiness does not mean perfection, it means willingness. The desire to try, to show up, to hold and be held, even if you are still a little scared.

I am not writing this as someone who has it all figured out. I am not even in a position to. I am writing as one cautious heart to another. As someone who has let good people go. As someone who has said, “I like you, but I cannot do this.” As someone who has been hurt after walking away, wondering if and when I will ever feel ready.

However, I have also learnt that it is okay to be soft and slow in a world that demands certainty. It is okay to be the one who needs time. What matters is that you are honest with yourself and with the people who care about you and when love comes again, as it always does, you will know. Maybe not with fireworks, but with peace.

If you are not ready for love right now, that is okay. Focus on loving yourself in the way you wish a partner would. Give yourself patience, gentleness, celebration, and care. Your story is still unfolding and when the time is right, when your heart whispers “yes” instead of “not yet” you will find that sometimes, love is not something you have to chase. It will meet you where you are.