April is globally recognized as Sexual Assault Awareness Month, a time dedicated to raising consciousness about sexual violence, advocating for survivors, and encouraging open, honest conversations around consent, boundaries, and bodily autonomy.

It is a month that reminds us not only to listen, but also to unlearn, educate, and reimagine a world where everyone feels safe in their bodies and free in their choices. Yet, for many of us, especially in African communities, these conversations are often cloaked in silence, shame, or cultural discomfort. This is why talking about what we were not told matters now more than ever.

Many Nigerians or rather, Africans did not talk about sex at home while growing up. Maybe you did not either. Maybe, like many, you learnt more about sex from whispers, rumours, and gists at school or from half-understood lessons in movies and on the internet than from the people who raised you.

In many African homes, sex was either a taboo or a threat. The message was often:

“Do not get pregnant.”
“Do not disgrace this family.”
“Stay away from boys.”

However, what about everything else? No one taught us about consent. No one taught us about pleasure, boundaries, emotional safety, or bodily autonomy. We were not taught how to firmly say no, how to recognize abuse, or even how to talk about what we were feeling.

We were taught to stay quiet and somehow expected to figure everything else out on our own. This silence did not just leave us uninformed; it left many of us ashamed. Ashamed of our curiosity, of our bodies, and of wanting to know more.

We grew up in cultures where sex was treated as something dirty, until marriage magically made it holy. Where survivors of assault were often blamed instead of believed. Where questions were punished instead of answered. That silence cost us. It created generations who are now adults, still unlearning shame and trying to understand things they were never given the language for.

Sexual awareness is not just about sex. It is about education, boundaries, safety, respect, and agency. It is about having the confidence to say: “This is my body. This is my choice. This is my boundary.” It is about teaching our younger ones more than what we were told or not told. It is also about creating homes and communities where people feel safe asking questions and having honest conversations because silence does not protect us; it only leaves us guessing in the dark.

We are the generation that can break the pattern. We can talk about sex with openness and responsibility. We can teach consent. We can listen without judgment. We can raise children who are not afraid of their bodies or their voices.

This Sexual Awareness Month, let us unlearn the shame. Let us replace silence with truth. Let us talk because the things we were not told still matter. It is not too late to learn.