The bond between mother and son is unbreakable meaning the connection remains strong. The mother’s confidence steps up a notch when she discovers she will be a mom.

She imagines how every part is formed in the depth of her womb. He is her miracle. For nine months his survival is in her hands yet her appetite is guided by how he makes her feel. She speaks and sings to him before she can touch him. Their bond is cemented at birth when the midwife immediately places him on her bare chest or abdomen for skin to skin contact, a bond not even death can break. Through breastfeeding for up to two years the mother and child’s bond grows stronger. He unmistakably knows his mother’s voice, face, scent and touch from that tender age.

The next process may prove to be the most difficult for both mother and child if it’s not done systematically. Weaning is the gradual introduction of semi-solid food to the baby whilst gradually stopping the feeding on breast milk. It has four stages which will help the child get used to foods other than breast milk and still receive the nutritional value. From exclusive breastfeeding the mother must find other food sources. First she must introduce liquid foods such as soups, water and juice, second, thin maize porridge and other pastas that the child can easily digest, third could be thick porridge, potatoes, bananas, meat and other fruits. The fourth and final stage is the complete removal of the baby from breast milk after or around the age of two.

Weaning may seem cruel but is necessary for the growth of the baby. After weaning the baby can fully explore the world, run and play, make friends away from comfort zones, discover what else life has to offer.

As the child grows it is assumed that he finds hobbies and desired pleasures. These are made possible through the guidance of the parent and in this case the mother. The bond, mind you, still exists but a mama’s boy is not born but made. There are introverts and extroverts but a mama’s boy is made. A mother might hold on to him as a form of compensation in cases where his father has passed away, left or emotionally distant. It have could initially been an innocent gesture while both found solace in each other. However the adult’s decision to keep holding onto him creates an obligation in him to always take care of her at all costs.

The inability to leave a comfort zone can in turn be good breeding ground for a mama’s boy. In the opinion of his girlfriend/wife it might seem as if he is content with mommy taking care of his needs like accommodation, cooking and cleaning. She believes that he can’t notice the need to seek his own space because he is not mature enough to be a real man. On the contrary his whole existence has been channelled towards taking care of his first love, his mother.

In as much as mommy is doing her job to nurture and help build him up, she must understand that he is no longer an egg in her womb who is solely dependable in her.  She must always seek to wean him, push him off a cliff so he can learn to fly on his own. She is still the adult. Leaving the nest or letting go may be difficult but it’s not impossible. You may be aware of meddling mothers who feel that no woman is good enough for her son.

Well, he will never know one unless she lets go of him so that he can find one on his own. The son may be caught between the two women he loves. There are mommy benefits and girlfriend/wife benefits which each uniquely brings. He must quickly understand that each needs to feel valued in their own way if he intends on finding happiness. Caught between the two many have chosen their mommy.

I decided to wean my daughter a month before, planned for it by taking medication which would gradually reduce the milk so that when I finally wean her I was not in pain. I had to realise the need to wean her and myself in the process. Since I was the adult in the equation it was my responsibility to be firm with her when she woke up in the middle of the night crying for some milk. Water did wonders for us during the tears and brokenness.

The first night was an all-night of crying and my response was “hapana mukaka pane mvura” which means there is no milk but there is water.  All the three times she woke up I was ready with one response. When she woke up the next night she asked if there was water and drank the water, and we lived happily ever after. Unlike my friends who weaned their children using other foodstuffs, they had to wean them off that again since it was not readily available.

A mommy’s boy cannot survive on his own for a long time because he doesn’t have the tools to do so. He doesn’t know how to be an independent man, and make his own decisions about his life. Someone always does that for him. He allows it because it’s normal to him, besides he feels like he is being ungrateful for what his mother did for him. The mother might also make sure that he doesn’t forget it. However, we must remember the thin line between love and manipulation, which can also be called emotional blackmail.

I talked about finding alternative foods to give the child through the process of weaning. This can also mean a chance for the child to learn new things and discover various skills. Self-awareness helps to identify yourselves as an individual with other interests. A child must have fresh perspective about life often, it makes life exciting.

A mommy’s boy may not be able to balance his relationships. He may not be aware that there is no contest or competition between his wife and his mother as each is equally important in different ways to him. Ultimately the mommy’s boy title thrives due to lack of support from both his lady and mother in meeting half way. The playing field is already not even yet a lot is expected of him.

Both women must come to an understanding that he was pushed into the mommy’s boy syndrome by default. Every man deserves a good support system from his loved ones but the constant strains caused by “cat fights” drains him. The mama’s boy syndrome is a worldwide pandemic which causes unrest in relationships.

Like an addiction, those most affected are not aware of it but dire consequences follow them often. A mama’s boy is made through various contributing factors. In a nutshell, we all love our mothers to bits.