You get the job, launch the business, win the award, get featured in a magazine, or simply start showing up for yourself and suddenly, the people you thought would cheer you the loudest go silent.

No congratulations, zero reposts. Just silence and sometimes, even distance. And if we are going to be honest, it stings.

We all grew up believing that people we are closest to, will always celebrate us. That our wins will be communal, shared with the same people who stood by us in our lowest. But sometimes, success is lonely. Especially when it starts to separate you from the version of yourself that people were more comfortable with. And if you happen to be someone who strongly believes community and closeness should be deeply valued, then silence can feel like betrayal to you.

There’s this unspoken expectation that those who love us will always clap for us or in other words, that your elevation is your tribe’s elevation, and yes, sometimes it is. But the truth is, sometimes, your growth triggers people. Your change reminds them of what they haven’t done, what they wish they had, or what they fear they’re losing which surprisingly might be you.

So, all of a sudden, your shine becomes too bright. Your presence feels like pressure and people you love begin to retreat or respond with passive support: “Wow, you’re doing big things oh,” said with a smirk, not a smile. Well, it doesn’t mean they hate you. But it might mean they no longer recognize you.

We rarely talk about the emotional fallout of success. The way it makes you question your relationships or feel guilty for doing well, for having boundaries, and for putting yourself first.

You start to shrink your wins to avoid making others uncomfortable. You hide your new opportunities in fear of sounding like you’re bragging. You become hyper-aware of who celebrates you genuinely and who just stays silent, watching. And in reality, that hurts more than we care to admit.

Outgrowing people is painful, but necessary. Not everyone was meant to walk with you to the next chapter. Some were only ever assigned to a version of you that no longer exists and trying to keep those relationships alive can feel like dragging dead weight.

To be fair, not every silent friend is jealous. Some are overwhelmed or even lost in their own battles. Many of them don’t know how to handle your shift while some are afraid to admit they feel left behind.

Still, silence can be loud. And when someone who always called suddenly doesn’t, you feel it. When your “safe people” don’t celebrate your small wins, your heart notices. It’s okay to grieve that. It’s okay to even give it a name. Not everyone will understand your journey or understand the sacrifices behind your success but don’t let that steal your joy. Never forget that your growth is not a betrayal. It is a becoming.

Some people won’t clap until strangers do. Others will clap when it benefits them. But some, a small few, will clap because they love you, even when they don’t fully understand your path. Those are your true people, make sure to keep them close.

Sometimes, support doesn’t look like reposts or shout-outs. For me personally, it looks like:

• “I’m proud of you.”
• “How can I help?”
• “This made me think of you.”
• “Even though I don’t get it fully, I see how hard you’re working.”

We need to stop romanticizing loud support and start appreciating quiet, steady love. But remember that when even that goes missing, you owe it to yourself to keep going. If you’re in a season where it feels like no one is clapping, remember this: Your journey is yours and you didn’t come this far to beg for applause.

Let your work speak, let your joy be enough, let your peace be your proof. Clap for yourself, dance in your room, frame your first by-line and even, screen-shot your wins.

Be your own witness. And when it gets lonely, know that silence doesn’t mean you’re wrong. Distance doesn’t mean you’re unlovable.

Growth is often misunderstood, but in the end, it is always worth it.